Sunday, October 30, 2011

So I finally got a chance to speak frankly with my host about everything that had gone down last week. She owned the fact that she has not been present in the day to day workings of her place, and that she has got ALOT going with her son's life falling the fuck apart and her trying to pick up the pieces of her own life.  I told her that it would be incredibly helpful to have a plan A, plan B, and plan C, when it comes to things to do during the course of a day. There is nothing worse than make work.

I also realized that part of the issue for me was the group of people that were here. They weren't doing much of shit in the way of passing the baton or work in general. They were also young, kind of cliquey, and lazy. I felt 8x better after they split. Apparently some of the group was getting annoyed with me because I was working too hard. Fuck em. I'm not here to get laid and drunk, I'm here to work and enjoy the sites.  It was also nice to get my host to open up (after a glass of wine or two) about struggling with her grief as a woman who by her own words said she lost the love of her life. It was just nice to talk about grown up stuff relating to life and the farm.

Speaking of life, I had a dream about M again but this time it was a good dream. Weird but good. We were hugging and kissing, and she said that she had broken up with her lover. I remember being like why is this happening in the dream. I asked my host about the dream as she's a shaman, and she said that M symbolizes something that I have made my peace with. What that is I don't know, but lord knows I've got plenty of time to figure it out.

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